(This is not new, but actually transported from a blog of days passed. Wait, now I'm second-guessing myself. Is it days passed or days past? Well, that's craptastic... That's going to bug me all day. Unless I forget all about it in the next twelve seconds, which is entirely possible. Whatevs. Like I was saying, this is not a recent post, but I also can't say that it isn't accurate!)
Here are just a few of the reasons/situations I'm currently thinking about:
• When people make snorting/sniffling noises in public (ESPECIALLY when I'm eating!!) that are faaaaaar beyond what is actually necessary. Go to the bathroom to hock the loogey in your mouth, fucktard. (Just for kicks I decided to let you know that spellcheck suggested that I change loogey to logger. I suggest spitting them out regardless of which one is in your mouth. That's just unsanitary.)
• The fact that I have become the wuss driver that I used to totally despise when I was an excellent driver. Granted, I got a shitload of speeding tickets back then, which wasn't so excellent, but now I'm probably causing accidents. (Which would you prefer?) For example, I now sometimes slow down cause I think the car waiting to pull on to the road I'm driving down isn't going to see me or is inching forward and it freaks me out - basically cause I'm convinced that everyone driving is texting and/or messing with their phone, mp3, or playing Angry Birds, etc, and NOT paying attention! I so used to be the person in the other car thinking (ok, yelling) Will you fucking GO?!!? I'm not gonna hit you, dumbass!
• When people refer to their family members (who are not MY family members) by the names they call them, but are not their actual names. Example: Uncle Larry is going to have dinner at Mom's house tomorrow. Uh, noooo. Why can't you just say "My Uncle Larry is going to have dinner at my mom's house tomorrow." Are the two extra words in that sentence REALLY gonna throw off your schedule for the day?! I think not. It's the same fucking word.
• When people use the word "conversate." And although it won't show you on the blog, it's freaking underlined by spellcheck which means IT'S NOT A REAL FUCKING WORD! The word is converse - as in "I would like to converse with you about how hard your grammar sucks ass."
• When people do things in front of others for the purpose of excluding them. Here's an example of what I mean: Person A invites several people (Persons B-E) to lunch (or whatever). Then Person A, in front of all the other persons(!!!), asks Person C to do something that does NOT have a person limit, like going to a bar next Tuesday (or whatever). Meanwhile, Persons B, D, and E get to hear this entire conversation and feel like they are back in high school and little miss/mister popular Person A has just purposefully excluded them and made them feel like total losers. Thanks, Person A! That A must stand for ASSHOLE, you fuckin' bi-otch!
• When I go to a drive through and place my order, I usually end my order with something along the lines of "And that's it." I don't know why, I just do. Maybe there's a post dedicated to that on a fast food worker's blog? Anyhoo, here's what pisses me off: 9 times out of 10, the next thing out of the clown's mouth, and I'm not referring to the shape of the menu, has something to do with ordering more food. Why can't you just listen to what I said? I promise I will let you know if I change my mind and want to order more. Come ON!
AND now I'm done... (for now.)